I’ve put some “feelers” out online, with regards to dating. One lady I was talking to last night seemed compatible on paper (well, on her profile) so I decided to “dive” in (get your mind out of the gutter) and chat via IM.
First, let me acknowledge that yes, I can be an intellectual snob; especially with regards to how people express themselves via the written word. It seems that we as a country have decided to do away with making sure our grammar and spelling are correct. It’s as if we don’t think it’s important enough to care. Well, at least this lady fits that scenario.
Let me just say, it’s important; especially when you’re “meeting” someone for the first time and MOST especially when that meeting takes place via IM where your words (and how you type them) are your “calling card”.).
Ever hear about first impressions? My first impression of this lady was that she’s illiterate and what will we ever have in common? I mean I love to read. I am mad about writing. My entire world revolves around being able to express my thoughts and imagination via the written word. If I’m dating someone who doesn’t get that or at least fit somehow within that sphere, or at least has a basic elementary school grasp of how to write a coherent thought without misspelling the simplest words, then we’re going nowhere as a couple.
Another thing is I’ve heard various opinions about what makes a relationship last…what makes a relationship thrive. There seems to be one consistent theme throughout that among other various things, ending up with or spending the rest of your life with your best friend is ideal.
I mean let’s face it after all is said and done, sure you may have a great sex life from the beginning to about the middle of the relationship, but age creeps up on you and Nature’s wicked sense of humor comes into play and sucks most, if not all of your libido right out of you… so then what’s left?
Conversation. Shared interests. Someone who will accept you with all the faults and idiosyncrasies that make you, you. Someone who has no problem telling you when your faults and idiosyncrasies are getting on their damn nerves. You know. Your best friend.
When asked by this lady what I was looking for, that’s what I told her. That if I were ever to get to the point of even thinking about spending the rest of my life with someone, ultimately I’d like for her to be my best friend. When I asked her the same thing, well here’s that bit of conversation:
“I’m looking for a lover,” typed she (though, with WAY more typos throughout)
“So, just a lover or a friend that has potential to be a lover that might lead to being your mate?” asked I.
“I’m looking for a lover. At 43 years old, I have enough friends.”
Who has enough friends, in this day and age?!?!
So ended yet another IM with an online date. I don’t know about this process. I mean I get that I can’t live inside my head WITH someone and that I should be a bit more social, because let’s face it talking to yourself works in your home, but when you do it outdoors you tend to sound like Gollum talking to Smeagol and they reside in the same body.
But then I remember a scene from NOW VOYAGER where the indomitable Bette Davis tells her tyrannical mother that she’ll spend the rest of her days, “…with a cat and a canary, living in single blessedness.”
I have a cat and a snake, so in theory I’m all set.