Feel What You Feel… (Just don’t wallow in it)

So, we’ve just gone through ANOTHER 9/11 anniversary (I can’t believe I’ve actually written that, because I vowed not to blog about it), and of course as memorials are prone to do it brought to mind those days following the tragedy.

Those days when all of Corporate America and our government (both federal and local) where eager to get America “working” again, because not only had lives been lost, but also revenue. (Still trying to weigh which was most important to them.)

And that made me ask myself, “Self? Did I allow myself to grieve? Did I allow myself the “luxury” of feeling what I felt? Or, did I put those feelings away so that it wouldn’t seem as though the terrorists won?”

Yesterday, I had reached my personal emotional limit due to things that are going wrong in my life. Most days it’s like water off a ducks back. Most days I can count my blessings so that I don’t become maudlin and melancholy, which I can be prone to do. (Wow, sounds like a rock duo. “Ladies and gentlemen, here’s Maudlin & Melancholy with their number one hit, “Woe is Me”!)

I see people around me taking advantage of one social system or another and they’re buying a new car, getting pampered at salons and buying their children name-brand clothing that they’ll grow out of in five minutes.

Here I am doing the “right thing” and I can barely make ends meet, have to “rob Paul to pay Peter”. Sure, life isn’t fair, but where’s the reward when you do what you’re supposed to do? Yadda, yadda, yadda…enough whining, right?

See that’s my point. I dislike it when I hear people “whining”, so I try not to do it myself. But is it really whining, or is it my brain trying to get rid of negativity by making me feel what I feel when I feel it. Better out than in. How often do we allow ourselves to fully go through whatever feelings (negative or positive). How often to we stop to “smell the roses” or allow ourselves a really “good cry”. I mean physiologically speaking we have the equipment for a reason…tear ducts and muscles in our face to smile and laugh with. If we weren’t supposed to laugh and cry and scream and yell, why have the equipment at all? Why have the emotions if we don’t allow ourselves to emote. I mean, geez, why let actors have all the fun?

So, I let myself go through my emotions, yet I didn’t wallow in them and get stuck. Maybe that’s why we, as a society, don’t allow ourselves to do that. Fear that we’ll get stuck and not accomplish anything. It’s a thin line, right? I’m no spiritual guru, or therapist, but I do know one thing: I had myself a good cry when I got home and now everything’s “right as rain” (pun intended).

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About adauphin04

Humanist, feminist, writer, filmmaker. Ford is an alumni of Bloomfield College, where she majored in Media Studies/Communications and minored in English Literature. While attending Bloomfield College, as a single parent she worked full-time, was on the High Honors list, and a member of the National Honors Society. As a graduate, Ford was listed in the Who’s Who of College Students in America. She has been working at Westminster Arts Center for eight years, is an avid reader and film-goer, writes novels, graphic novels, screenplays and poetry. She is currently working on a feminist docu-drama entitled, "You're Not the Boss of Me!" She is also currently in pre-production with her first feature film "Being Free". Ford lives with her son, Jason, and their pets: Boo (a cat) and Akasha (a ball python). Ford and family are beginning a new chapter in their lives and relocating to Colorado in October 2016.
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6 Responses to Feel What You Feel… (Just don’t wallow in it)

  1. Jenna says:

    I get the feeling you whine a lot…

    Like

  2. ThisSucks says:

    This is a sad excuse for a blog

    Like

  3. Jitter says:

    Wow…just wow…this is the weirdest blog I’ve ever seen

    Like

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