Hate the player(s) AND the game…don’t join the team!

Why are there female misogynists? Why do women dislike, or hate other women just because they’re women? I’ve been told that my “we-are-all-human” POV is naive and utopian (which is, apparently, a bad thing). So, I’m trying to keep things simple (HA!) and look at things from a gender POV.

So, again I ask, “Why do women hate other women just because they’re women?”

I think that some of this hatred comes from our patriarchy. Think how easy it is to “defeat” or “destroy” a group of people when there is acrimony and mistrust among its members. I think that women have been late in getting a lot of the rights that men are born with: voting, working outside of the house, etc. During these dark times, our gender has only had one group from which to emulate its behavior with regards to voting and working in Corporate America and getting into politics. Men. So, since they’re the only group we can use as a point of reference with regards to the rules and regulations of voting, etc., does it follow that their way is the “right” way? Why can’t we (women) make our own way, come up with our own set of rules and fix what is broken. I mean, I’ve heard my gender complain about how men have messed up the world and that they can do a better job. Then, when placed in these same positions of power, women simply pick up where men left off and it’s business as usual.

For instance, there are men in power who approach women out of a place of fear and envy. I think that’s why some men degrade us and do their best to make sure we don’t succeed as well as they do, or make as much as they do. I think that’s why the men view us as the “weaker” sex, so that they can remain in denial about our power and, in turn, make us not only forget about our power, but take that power away from us and make us feel insecure and rob us of our confidence.

Why have other women hopped onto this “band wagon”?

This is why there is a War on Women being perpetrated by men AND women. You know I get that this economy is tanking and our debt ceiling needs to be raised and yadda, yadda, yadda. But using this economic crisis as an excuse to get rid of Planned Parenthood and, subsequently, control what a woman does with her own body is reprehensible. And pointing to religious texts to back up this misogyny just gives my POV about religion being man-made and, therefore, fallible more weight.

Why are there women from all over trying to help this along? Do you really have that much self-hate inside you that you would give your power over your own body over to someone else; most likely a man?

We are a nuturing and compassionate gender yet in our haste to “get ours” and “beat men at their own game” we’ve turned on each other and adopted men’s view of ourselves. This has made us as fearful and envious of each other, as men are of us. This behavior has made it easier for us to help men divide and conquer us, thereby conquering ourselves. Do we hate ourselves and each other THAT much?!

I’m not trying to perpetuate this “women vs. men” mentality that has pervaded our society. No, I am trying to understand why we’ve adopted men’s POV of women as truth rather than not only educating them about the facts AND educating and reinforcing that  knowledge within our daughters so that they don’t perpetuate the lie.

We, women, judge each other on so many useless, insignificant and superfluous things like weight (appearance-wise, rather than health-wise); clothing, makeup, etc., like that’s the measure of a woman. We even judge each other based on what men deem important with regards to how other men view their success: keeping the house clean, cooking, keeping the kids clean and well-behaved. This is the measure of a good woman? Who says so?

Why isn’t a self-made woman who isn’t married, has no children and pays someone else to clean their house and cook their meals the measure of a good woman?

And don’t tell me “It is what it is; and that’s they way it is”, because people said the same thing about slavery during its time in this country and, guess what, it’s against the law today.


About adauphin04

Humanist, feminist, writer, filmmaker. Ford is an alumni of Bloomfield College, where she majored in Media Studies/Communications and minored in English Literature. While attending Bloomfield College, as a single parent she worked full-time, was on the High Honors list, and a member of the National Honors Society. As a graduate, Ford was listed in the Who’s Who of College Students in America. She has been working at Westminster Arts Center for eight years, is an avid reader and film-goer, writes novels, graphic novels, screenplays and poetry. She is currently working on a feminist docu-drama entitled, "You're Not the Boss of Me!" She is also currently in pre-production with her first feature film "Being Free". Ford lives with her son, Jason, and their pets: Boo (a cat) and Akasha (a ball python). Ford and family are beginning a new chapter in their lives and relocating to Colorado in October 2016.
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